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The balder the better

Posted June 04, 2007 11:00 pm

Mike Nadel

CHICAGO - Welcome, everybody, to a new weekly feature from GateHouse News Service: The Best of The Baldest Truth.

Each Tuesday, we'll run a few items from my blogs of the previous week. Why? Well, because my new boss wants me to, of course! That, and because it's a good way to recap a week in sports and set up the week to come. And hey, it's all about cross-promotion, baby!

In addition to my warped view on sports, The Baldest Truth's regular features include goofy lists, funny and/or incisive quotes from the jocks I cover and letters from readers.

Enjoy these snippets, and don't forget to check www.thebaldesttruth.com regularly. I mean, just because the Cubs always make their fans wait 'til next year, there's no reason you have to wait 'til next Tuesday for more bald musings.

JUNE 3

Five things LeBron James has in common with Michael Jordan:

1. LeBron takes time out to carpool Michael's kids, too.

2. LeBron calls Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Drew Gooden and Donyell Marshall - all together now! - "my supporting cast."

3. Whenever Craig Ehlo sees LeBron, he runs the other way.

4. LeBron can't hit a curveball, either.

5. When he leaves the Cavs as a free agent in a couple of years, LeBron will show that he, too, can break the hearts of Cleveland basketball fans.

JUNE 1

Carlos Zambrano and Michael Barrett deserve each other. One's a kook, the other's a hothead.

The brawl between the Cubs batterymates was at once appalling and hilarious. My favorite part was Zambrano pointing to his head, telling Barrett to think. That's like me pointing at my head, telling somebody to grow hair.

After their dugout scuffle, Barrett followed Zambrano up to the clubhouse after Lou Piniella had sent Cra-Z there. OK, after that, EVERYBODY has the right to point to their heads and tell Barrett to think. The guy who sucker-punched A.J. Pierzynski really thought going out of his way to go after Zambrano was the next logical step? Oy.

What a team. What a disgrace. What a disaster in the making.

Oh, and the Cubs lost again, too, after which Piniella blew a gasket about his players' ineptitude at baseball's most basic fundamentals. Thank God the Cubs don't have losers like Dusty Baker, Don Baylor and Jim Riggleman running the show anymore.

Yes, it was another beautiful day for a ballgame!

MAY 30

From Bob Mahoney of Georgetown, Ill.:

Barry Bonds is a solid-gold, worthless, egotistical jerk and I only hope he lives to see the day when the fans realize his achievements are bogus. Too bad MLB doesn't have the guts to deal with him. Therefore, MLB sucks and does not deserve my support at the ticket booth. I wouldn't go to a game to see Bonds if they gave the tickets away and bought the beer and brats. So, Barry, I wish you a short and miserable life. Hey Mike, have a nice day!

MAY 28

During an extended Memorial Day moment of silence to honor the brave men and women who have died in military service, several idiots at Wrigley Field couldn't resist yelling, "Go, Cubs!"

Next year, jerks, stay home and drink.

JAN. 20 (from the very first edition of The Baldest Truth)

American Heritage Dictionary defines "bald" as hairless, of course, but also as an adjective meaning: "undisguised; blunt." That is what I'll aim to be in The Baldest Truth. Also fun, irreverent, insightful and (hopefully) authoritative without being too preachy. I welcome your input, reactions and suggestions as this blog evolves. Given the thousands upon thousands of e-mails and letters I have received since becoming columnist in 1998, I know my readers aren't shy about letting me know what they think.

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